Pizza & Wings
by lari.ssables
Summary: A night of celebrating goes horribly wrong when the ducklings encounter long island iced tea, karaoke and a tipsy Greg House. The more alcohol consumed, the more inviting a duet with Chase seems to House ..
1. Chapter 1

**First fanfic, let me know if it's worth my time. Ps, I don't own House. **

**-**

The diagnosis had taken awhile. A **long** while. They had brought their patient into a stable condition long enough to diagnose; Melanoma. She had been shipped off to their favourite oncologist, and the case, after some paper work that House took no part in, was over. The ducklings decided to celebrate, while House scowled at them and bounced around his grey-and-red tennis ball. He stayed all by his lonesome in his dark office while Cameron, Foreman and Chase headed off in search of hot wings.

House watched them as they made their way through the parking lot under his window, all searching for their respective cars, carrying on conversation that looked disgustingly cheerful and entirely uninviting to him. He convinced himself that he wasn't lonely and would much rather be here with his iPod than making small talk with his underlings over a dirty table. He wouldn't even _want_ to sit there with them and enjoy greasy food, and listen to pleasantries and watch Cameron's eyes as they lit up at a joke. Not that they had asked him to, anyways. House shook his head, before throwing on his leather jacket and pocketing his iPod, and heading out in search of something severely alcoholic.

The bike roared under the diagnostician as he pulled into the parking lot of Louis's and cut the engine. He hopped off of it, and with the help of his cane, he hobbled inside, missing the sign posted on the side of the building completely.

Cameron idly watched the licence plate of Chase's BMW as she sat waiting for the light to change. If she jumbled the letters up a bit, she could almost spell "cactus", if you counted the 1 as a "t". This red light was taking forever. In her rear-view, she could see Foreman in his silver Impala. Chase had told them about a great pizza and wings place on McDougall Avenue, off Third Street, that he would go to when visiting his buddies in med school. Rumour was that they had some Karaoke competition going on. If nothing else, it would make for some interesting entertainment. The light changed, and after a few more blocks of their three car brigade, they arrived, parked, and met on the steps to walk into the shabby looking "Louis's".

Three scotches down the hatch and House could finally tolerate listening to what was going on around him. He watched as a plain looking man with black hair and jeans came up to announce something about the beginning of a competition. House complained to himself about how much he hates these little stints. As the first competitor, a blonde, curly haired little mess got up in her too-short skirt and started singing Shania Twain, his attention was drawn away by three familiar voices, a distinctive feminine one, one with a thick Australian accent, and a smooth, deep one. Great.

"So I told 'er," said the Australian voice behind him, " 'ave a sandwich, maybe you'll feel betta!"

"Chase!" scolded the giggling female.

"Nice one, man. That's priceless" added the deep voice.

House could hear them carrying on as they sat in a booth two or three away from where he sat. He didn't dare look. He couldn't go join them, and besides, he was already on his third -- fourth? – scotch and was beginning to feel light-headed.

_This is nice, _Foreman thought to himself as the three of them laughed away at the new gossip they had overheard from the nurses. _No dying patient, no arrogant boss, no more work till our next case .. that pizza looks delicious._ The three of them ordered drinks and pizza to share as they watched the Karaoke competition that was already well underway.

House was sulking. He scowled at the couple onstage, a blonde girl and a vastly taller redhead, as they sang a Johnny Cash/June Carter Cash song whilst holding hands and smiling. He scowled at his uneaten pizza, and his condensating drink. He scowled at his shoes, at his cane, and especially the party of three sitting somewhere behind him. He had heard his name several times, and he was hearing it even more now due to their increasing volume, which was varying directly to the amount of beer and long island iced tea they were consuming. So much for being alone with his thoughts and his alcohol tonight.

Allison Cameron drank through her straw with clenched teeth. She was grinning and sipping at the same time, and it wasn't working to well. There was long island iced tea all over her side of the table. Chase and Foreman watched her, laughing, which made her laugh in turn. The cute redhead and his girlfriend finished their duet and an aspiring cowboy took the stage. He wore cthe boots and the hat, spurs, a huge belt buckle and the obligatory beer belly that said belt and buckle were trying to hold in.

"Ten bucks, he sings 'Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy'." said Foreman, eyeing the cowboy guy.

"Tha's a deal!" Chase and Foreman shook on it. They all proceeded to gape in horror and the music began to play Celine Dion.

"Pay up, Aussie." Foreman held out his hand as cowboy-guy wrinkled his eyebrows up and belted out "Because You Love Me".

"Hey, Foreman, think you could do better than him?" asked Cameron with an evil glint in her eyes.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. I am _not_ going up there!"

Cameron smiled, "Ten bucks says you are."

In all the commotion, the ducklings had failed to notice as another joined their party. House smiled wickedly as they all jumped when he spoke, slurring his words slightly.

"Yeah, Foreman, I'd really like to see you try."

**Right there. Its right there. That teeeeenie little button. Just press it and let me know if I should keep going with this. Thanks guys.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Reviews make me happy. Thank you guys so much.**

**-**

"House! What are you doing here?" asked a rather nervous Eric Foreman.

"I-I-I-I," House slurred, his voice somewhat higher than usual, "Am having a rather lovely scotch." He took a glance at the aforementioned scotch to realise he had drained the glass. "All gone .." he murmured, before turning abruptly and looking Chase, who was nearest, quite closely in the face.

"What about you, Chase, aren't you gonna go up there and make a fool out of yourself?" he asked.

"Uh, I – no." Chase stammered, trying to look anywhere but his boss's piercing blue eyes.

"Oh, okay." He countered, as if that was a perfectly acceptable answer, then added, "I guess I might as well join you kids and watch this horrid show."

The ducklings exchanged glances, all wondering simultaneously how much House had had to drink. He scooted in next to Chase, and put his arm up on the seat. Chase tried inconspicuously to inch away, and incidentally, closer to Cameron, who sat beside him. She in turn inched away from him, and somehow they all ended up on one side of the semi-circled booth, squished uncomfortably together, watching House as he smiled and bobbed his head to the music.

Feeling a warm pressure on her leg, Cameron looked down to her knee to see a manicured hand working its slow way up her thigh. Chase's eyes were fixed on the stage, watching the karaoke show like he had no idea what he was doing. With no subtle way to move the offending appendage, she decided that she was going to get him out of the booth.

"Chase!" she proclaimed loudly, trying not to grit her teeth, "Why don't you grace us with a song?" She began to nudge him away from her, towards the end of the booth, and consequently, and oddly pleasant House. The happy look on his face was shattered as he got hit full force in the side by a flustered Aussie.

"_What_ are you _doing?_" he articulated slowly. Chase smiled up at him sheepishly.

"He was just going to go up there and sing a song for us." Cameron explained sweetly, making it impossible to deny. House looked sceptical.

"Okay," House muttered, misunderstanding, "fine, I'll sing, but you owe me clinic duty." He got up to let Chase out, and went to follow him to the stage, leaning on his cane for support. Only, he had forgotten his cane in the booth. He tipped over with a yelp and caught himself on the table at the last second. He walked away, giggling, pointing over his shoulder at the table and asking no-one in particular if they'd seen that. Cameron and Foreman stared dumbfounded as the guys disappeared into the crowd in their trek for the stage. Then, as Foreman pointed out that they were standing on the side, next in line, the pair pulled out their digital cameras and camera phones. Foreman set his Cannon to video mode, and Cameron cleaned off the lens on her phone. This would make for some interesting blackmail.

Chase was utterly floored at the ridiculousness of his situation. He stood backstage with a list of duets with his plastered boss with whom he was about to sing karaoke in some bar. He definitely wasn't drunk enough for this to seem like a good idea. He held the paper he was holding out to House and told him to choose one, but House was more concerned with walking around his cane in slow, deliberate circles and wasn't paying attention. As he came back around in Chases direction he called, "Number twenty-seven!" without even looking at the page. Chase shrugged and relayed this information the deejay. The somewhat overweight Hispanic man rubbed his bald head and gave him a strange look as he lined up the track. The announcers called for the next act and a man behind him ushered him and his inebriated boss onto the stage.

House looked over and smiled as the music started. In a loud whisper, to Chase's utter horror, he said, "I love this song!" He slowly recognised the slow guitar intro and wondered what the _hell_ he was doing up here, and why he just _had_ to choose this song.

**-**

**Cliff-hanger? Well, no. But there's quite a nice song in the next chapter, and an over enthused diagnostician. Review, pretty please, and maybe I'll get it up faster.**


	3. Chapter 3

**If you don't have the song "Somethin' Stupid" by Frank and Nancy Sinatry, I suggest you download it. It's a good song. Also, it would be intensely difficult to picture **_**House**_** singing it. Go ahead.**

**-**

House grinned and raised his eyebrows at Chase. It was an odd look, indeed, but not as odd as what they were about to sing. House took a deep breath and began to wail,

_"__I know I stand in line,_

_Until you think you have the time_

_To spend an evening with me..." _he sang enthusiastically into the wrong end of the microphone.

"_And if we go some place to dance_

_I know that there's a chance_

_You won't be leaving with me…" _Chase joined in, stepping over to right his partners mike.

"_And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place_

_And have a drink or two…" _they sang together, House looking melancholically into his partners eyes, gripping him tight around the waist, much to his horror. As Chase continued, House got distracted by his hair and began to pet it, murmuring into the microphone about how fantastic his hair was. Chase tried to bat him off and read the words on the screen at the same time.

_"And then I go and spoil it all_

_By saying something stupid_

_Like –" _House cut him of and cried into his mike, "I LOVE YOU!" to finish the verse. This caused quite a bit of feedback that only House seemed oblivious to. Chase scowled and began the next lines;

"_I can see it in your eyes,_

_That you despise the same old lies_

_You heard the night before,_

_And though it's just a line to you_

_For me it's true_

_It never seemed so right before" _he sang, wrenching himself from House's rigor-mortis grip.

"_I practice everyday_

_To find some clever lines to say_

_To make the meaning come true…" _he continued as House wandered across the stage. He turned from his new spot and to the nearest speaker asked, "Is he better looking than me?" waited several seconds, listening for a response and said, "I agree."

"House get over here, sing the so-- _But then I think I'll wait_

_Until the evening gets late_

_And I'm alone with you..." _House seated himself on the edge of the stage with his feet on the nearest table and joined in in the wrong key;

_The time is right_

_Your perfume fills my head_

_The stars get red_

_And oh, the night's so blue_

_And then I go and spoil it all_

_By saying something stupid_

_Li--" _againHouse cut him off and came in to soon on "I love youuuuuuu…"

There was an instrumental break, and the Sinatra-esque violin set a nice tone for Houses strange limping waltz with his cane, then Chase, then a man from the next act. The man looked horrified and pushed him into the Aussie, who steadied him as much as he could be steadied in time for the last chorus.

"_The time is right_

_Your perfume fills my head_

_The stars get red_

_And oh, the night's so blue_

_And then I go and spoil it all_

_By saying something stupid_

_Like—" _Chase rolled his eyes as House called out "I love youuu!"

_"I love you..."_

_"I love you…"_ he sang, glad to be one "I love you" away from the end of the song. He opened his mouth to sing the last line, but was cut off by a very high pitched falsetto from House;

"_I_ love _YOUU!"_ he wailed. He grinned at a horrified Chase and with a gasping sort of giggle fell right off the stage.

"House!" cried the younger doctor, running downstage. His boss stared up at him with a goofy smile, sitting with his legs sprawled out beneath him on a big pile of carpet squares. He ran his hand through one made of blue shag, and cried out when the appendage disappeared. Chase frowned, more angry that he was concerned for his boss than anything. He retrieved House's cane from the stage where he discarded it after his impromptu dance break, hopped down to join him, grabbed House by his collar and dragged him back to the table.

Foreman and Cameron stared wide-eyed at the stage that was now empty. They sat in a stupor, completely awestruck by what they had just witnessed. Their sarcastic, bitter, mean, holier-than-thou boss had completely made a fool of himself. Foreman's Cannon beeped, alerting him to the lack of memory left. It made both of them jump. They both looked at the camera, then each other, and then burst into laughter.

"Oh, sure, laugh it up. That was _hilarious._ Wha' a _fantastic_ time." Chase growled sarcastically.

"Yeah, pretty much." Beamed the immunologist.

"The best part is that it's all on film." Smiled Foreman, patting his camera, as Cameron stroked her camera phone.

"_That,_" moaned House, "was _so _much_ fun!" _he collapsedinto the booth, sliding in next to his female subordinate. "You should try it. Get that pretty little face up there…" he nuzzled into her throat and let his neck go limp. She tried to ignore the shiver that passed down her spine.

"Yeh, you 'ave to go up," agreed Chase, "it's no fair if you don'."

Cameron and Foreman looked each other. She raised her eyebrows at him and he shrugged.

"It can't be as bad as what they just did." She speculated.

"You wanna?" He asked.

"Sure," she agreed, "But no 'I love you's." She added to herself, _I don't need all three of them trying something with me tonight._

_-_

**Cameron and Foreman? Will be an interesting duet. I have a song picked out for them and everything. Review pee's?**


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